Pirate 2 Blogs

How to Pull a Sicky at Work (or not...)

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3:07pm 2nd June 2015

This week, we've been speaking a lot about getting sick abroad...

...but what if you were to get sick at home? But then again, that would require you to actually be sick - and nobody can prepare for that... What if you weren't sick at all, but wanted to pull a sick day?

There's so much going on in our work lives, sometimes there's a point which makes you want to pull the trigger and pull a sicky. Even if you do feel like you lose your dignity - and if you can of course cope with the fact that your work colleagues are picking up the work your missing.

Our Top Excuses to Use

In order to pull a sicky, you have to come up with a brilliant excuse. And of course, if you're too lazy to do your work like a normal human being; we've got you in mind as we're also going to spoon feed you with some of the best excuses which are sure to work to your boss.

"My brain fell asleep and couldn't wake itself up"

This is a sure fire winner. Nobody can argue with this because it's exactly what had happened. Your brain didn't wake up - something which you can't control right? Your boss will have a hard time challenging this one.

"I was spit on by a venomous snake"

This one is perfect. Britain is known as the hub for venomous snakes and other creepy crawlies, so of course your boss or manager is going to sympathise with you. It's one of the biggest things we worry about on a day to day basis. He/she will understand.

Snake

"Someone glued my doors and windows shut so I couldn’t leave the house"


Ah, we hate it when this happens. You're having a bad day already (because you've awoken and have to go to work) - and then some juvenile delinquent chooses to ruin your day further. Not to worry though, because at least then you can use the day to do important tasks - such as catching up on past TV you've missed (like Game of Thrones, am I right?)

"My false teeth flew out the window while driving down the A30"

This is a common issue in Cornwall. Constantly as we're driving to work, we often find that the A30 is gridlocked with false teeth... it's getting almost as bad as the pot holes down here. This one will totally work.

If you have any more suggestions for excuses which others might benefit from, you can tweet us @PirateDAB on Twitter, or alternatively you can like our Facebook page.

(Also, if you didn't get it already... this article is satirical)

 

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